Even though “Pimp My Ride” went off the air in 2007, taking Xzibit along with it, it still lingers in pop culture, a bit like a particularly vile fart. Sure, some pimped-out rides are absolutely amazing. Others remind us why, precisely, airbrushes should be regulated by law. For example, and in no particular order since they're all equally ridiculous:
1) Alien Car Wants To Eat Your Brain
We understand the overwhelming desire to disguise the fact that you're driving what looks an awful lot like a PT Cruiser, but gluing a massive acrylic Alien Queen head and hand and foot details is not going to make your car better. It'll just mark you as a sad nerd. Isn't the idea of pimping your car to imply a girl has gone near you?
2) You Can Make an SUV Uglier?
This one just has the words “far too much time on my hands” written all over it, in mile high letters. That or “nobody will buy this POS anyway.”
3) Hummer: You're Doing It Wrong
Granted, Hummers are ugly, ugly cars, but you've got to wonder why somebody would A) cut it down, B) extend the cab or C) paint it that color. Unless they felt the Hummer wasn't hideous enough...
4) Bringing Hatchback
While there are fruits and vegetables more aerodynamic (and more attractive) than a hatchback, we do have to respect the logic of the paint job. Lightning bolts make anything cooler. The problem is hatchbacks have a negative cool rating...
5) Yugo Girl
Yes, somebody chopped down and modified a Yugo. Why? We're not sure. Boredom? A bet? Literally nothing else whatsoever to do for entertainment? All of the above?
6) Dead Man On Fire
You know, we really hope this was never used to transport the corpses of fire victims. That'd just be kind of awful.
7) Hey, I Had One Of Those As a Kid
For those wondering, this is a Smorvette: a Smart Car chasis and engine with a custom Corvette body. You know, because you always wanted to drive one of those toy cars you pull back and then let go of. We assume this handles approximately the same as those, anyway.
8) It's Still a Hatchback
Guys, seriously. No matter what you do, no matter what you spray on it, no matter how many LEDs you install...you're still driving a dorky car. The paint and LEDs just make it dorkier. Give it up.
9) Now, Voyager
Why, precisely, would you give a car that paint job? Also, why, precisely, would you give that car that paint job? “Yeah, mom's in the house with a pimped out MINI-vaaaaaaaan!” No. Just...no.
10) But Doesn't It Come Pre-Pimped?
Congratulations. You have put funny doors on a Prius. You have somehow made the Prius uglier. That's...an achievement? We think?
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